An Education

"An Education" is the 2009 movie that made the adorable Carey Mulligan a star.

As it's a most convenient categorization, the film is a "coming-of-age" story about a 16-year-old girl who gets swept off her feet by an older man. She's raised in a strict household where her father has impressed upon her that getting accepted to Oxford is the reason she's alive. But seeing the value in that education gets harder when this charming older man takes her places she's always wanted to see and teaches her things she's always dreamed of experiencing.

But the film left me with two things:

1. At one point, Carey's character argues with the headmistress of her school. She asks her to justify why she should get an education in order to obtain some hard, boring job when she can just marry  Prince Charming and keep enjoying her taste of the good life?

"It's not enough to educate us anymore; you've got to tell us why you're doing it...It's an argument worth rehearsing. Someone else might want to know the point of it all one day."

The movie's set a few decades earlier, but clearly, a lot of people are having similar doubts today. When things went awry, as those sorts of situations tend to do, she again decides that getting an education will be the key to reaching her dreams:

 "The life I want, I see there is no shortcut," she said.

 Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that statement. If George Clooney pulled up right now I'd jump on the back of that motorcycle. No introductions necessary.

2. I enjoyed the movie a lot, partly because I found myself surprised at the way things unfolded. Actually, it was just what you'd expect: The man had a wife and family all along. So here's where I tell on myself: If this had been a Tyler Perry movie, I would have suspected that all along. "I knew it!"  I would've said. So why didn't I find that plot turn cliche in this movie? Hmmmm....

New (old) Music

Because all "new" music is old to someone, apparently.

If you've ever shopped at the retailer that employs me, you should know we play some pretty kick-a$$ music. This song is among them, I think. I had to stop what I was doing to go in the backroom and look at the digital playlist box-thingy that shows the title and artist. I'm weird; I've worked there nearly two years off and on. I literally hear the same songs every day and I'm not tired of them yet. How is that possible?

This one has a beat that just...OK, let's say you're talking to someone. And then you just start bobbing your head. You don't know the words; don't really care what they are, you just find your head nodding and it does this every time you hear it. So you finally go, "what is that?" That's what happened here.

Enjoy "Lady Luck" by Jamie Woon. Who? Yea, I've never heard of him, either.

I'm Failing

at this post every day challenge. Turns out I don't like many of the posts over at the Wordpress page. But the only thing I want to share today is how FREAKIN excited I am that I am going to see Miguel in concert tomorrow night!

You don't understand. I'm going to be thee nicest person tomorrow at work. He BET not play me like he did that night (about a year ago) when he was at this club up here and I paid $25 and he sang ONE song. If he does that tomorrow, I bet Imma catch him in the alley.

A Month Out

Hard to believe that I actually left my job an entire month ago already. How's it going?

Overall, I feel good. The act of not physically going into an office 5 days a week feels good. But then I realize, um...rent is due in like 28 days. That's what I've been most concerned about. Faith is easy to "have" when you don't really need it. But the level of worry I wrestle with every other day says there might be a faith deficit going on here.

I had an interview for a great position in my field...but it left too many unanswered questions, I guess, so I turned it down. I've had two other interviews for some shaky, unstable "we might have hours, we might not - you might hate it here actually and we understand if you do" gigs as well. I even got hired for a second part-time job, for a huge retailer that I won't name, but who allegedly needed immediate help in advance of the holiday season. But their instructions - after wasting a day of my life in training - were to go online and see if hours are available to be picked up....so far, none have been.

But the much better news is that I have started freelancing for my former employer! And on a personal level, I went natural Sept. 16. If you don't think going from almost shoulder-length hair to a step above a buzzcut is a big deal...you must be a man. 

I've started a new blog as well, one that focuses on positivity, which is what I'm trying to exude these days. Check it out: OfPeople.wordpress.com

Describe a Dream You've Had More Than Once

Topic #265 via WordPress:
Describe a dream you’ve had more than once.
Everyone has a dream, or nightmare, they’ve had more than once. Either write a post describing one, or explaining why you think it you’ve had the dream multiple times.
                                                                   ***********
Let me say first off: The dream I've had most often is not uncommon. But the fact that I have it almost every night may be.

My alarm is set for 6 a.m. I usually wake up before it tells me to, no matter what time I fell asleep the previous night. If I go back to sleep in that small window, without fail, I have a nightmare. And it usually consists of me being chased. I mean, I am on the run like a character in a major motion picture. There are recurring settings. Some are familiar, such as the house I grew up in. I never see his face, but the black and red striped Freddie Kruegger sweater and black hat are on the man chasing me here. Sometimes I make it out he back or side door and into the parking lot of the church behind the house. I never make it much farther...

For the most part, though, I don't know if these are places I've been before or will be, but no matter how many times I run and hide around the same buildings, houses, parks, etc. I know that I never get away.

How morbid is that? How do you die every night???


I found some random web site that offered this analysis:

There are hundreds of reasons that result in dreams of being chased, the major ones seem to be painful memories, troubled marriages, unpleasant experiences, difficult relationships, stifling working environments, unreasonable employers, financial problems, health issues, anxiety, depression and fear.
 ....Dreams of being chased by a person or unseen entity represent a personal attack against you due to jealousy, envy and a personal hidden agenda.

Do you have any other analysis?

Post a Day Challenge

I recently got an email about National Novel Writing Month, which is a challenge to actually write a novel in the month of November. I don't plan on writing a novel - yet -  but in order to get everyone ready, WordPress has been hosting a Post A Day Challenge.

Yes, I know I'm using Blogger, but I'm going to challenge myself to write a post a day using the prompts they post daily over here. I've been aching to get back to writing creatively...not the by-the-numbers journalism stuff I'd been doing professionally. Back during freshman year I had an amazing creative writing class where the professor gave the class assignments to write specific scenes, or just to free-write for a set amount of time.  Those were great exercises, and by doing a little a day you begin to flex that muscle and sometimes you see you're not as bad as you thought...Or maybe one of the prompts will trigger that novel within. The discipline of having to do something daily (or weekly) is another benefit, plus you don't have to worry about writer's bloc, since they have plenty of ideas to get you started.

So, anyway, if you want to take the challenge, sign up right here.

Happy Writing!

Countdown

The black unemployment rate is 16.7 percent, "the highest in 27 years," I read earlier today.


I, on the other hand, just left a meeting with HR. I made arrangements to leave my key card and badge after I clock out.
 
Tomorrow, I am leaving my job.

I did it the "right" way, of course - gave two weeks' notice, put it on paper, gave people a heads up.

I'm making resolutions that can't wait until the new year. January 1st is almost exactly 4 months away; that's far too late.

I know the job search is grueling and unkind. I know the toll it can take on your finances, your self-esteem, your temparament.

I almost regretted my decision to voluntarily subject myself to that psychological minefield. Maybe it'll be easier the second time around?

Life has been one big transition of late. Transitions are perhaps the trickiest to navigate. You know what failure looks like. Success, you've reached that too. But the in-between? That slope where the ground is neither firm or well-lit? Yeah, it's tricky.

But I'm hopeful. I'm optimistic. I'm talented. I'm learning to believe in the gifts that I have been given. And as mom said, "If you know in your heart there's something better for you, sometimes you have to take that risk and find it."

A Little "Too" Friendly

Anyone who's ever tried to recruit a mentor might not have found it to be the easiest process. Often, we reach out to folks we respect - people who have accomplished a lot, usually - and who happen to be very busy.

It might take several emails, some cold calls, many unreturned messages, etc to land an opportunity to introduce yourself. And you may find that you take leadership of whatever relationship follows as well.

Sometimes when we're new to a company, a mentor can just be someone who's more familiar with the in's and out's - not necessarily a top exec. But anyway, my point is count yourself lucky if one of these too-busy-to-remember-their-kids'-birthdays types takes an interest in you. But let's say someone actually volunteers to be your mentor. Someone who may be in middle management, not quite at the top.

You may eagerly accept their offer. But be cautious. I don't want to make you cynical, I just warn you, be cautious. In some cases, these people are climbing their way up and it looks good that they are "taking on extra projects" and "giving back." When you interact with these people, keep in mind they may be as interested in their own development as they say they are in yours. Don't get too comfortable where you forget that they represent the company. They're a cog, not a friend. And don't be surprised if they repeat things you've said "in confidence" because, after all, how will their supervisor know they're mentoring you if he/she never tells them?

Of course, you can work the situation by being well-prepared when you speak to them and by sharing your great ideas - hopefully those will make their way up the chain, too. Don't focus too heavily on issues or problems you may be having with the job, but try to be positive and optimistic. Just in case Mr VP of Whatever catches you on the elevator and starts his chitchat with, "So I hear..."


Just a word of advice for my young professionals out there.

Here's Where I am Wit It

I've been a certified reporter for a year - according to my business cards - and uh, I used to take it personally when people said newspaper was a dying business. Now? I feel like they deserve it.

Because let's face it: At the point that your organization is more focused on what sells instead of what serves, it should face the same capitalistic hardships as any other commercial enterprise.
 
I look at what newspapers were founded for; ideals such as empowering the public. Arming them with facts to stand against an unjust and oppressive government. A belief that education and freedom were closely related. If this is the true foundation of newspapers, they should be non-profits. A gentleman made a suggestion to me once. "I know it's a radical idea," he said," but what if the newspaper was in city hall and each town's taxpayers paid for it?" It actually made sense to me. Why not allow journalists to truly focus on the aspects that help people. Provide me with news, analysis and investigative reporting that holds our officials true. The Bible says it best: You can't serve two masters. Do you want to be a vehicle for public good, or do you want to make money? Apparently, principles and profit can't cohabit the same entity.

But they've strayed from these altruistic principles.

I'm not a journalist because I'm nosy and I want "the scoop." I don't give a damn about beating everybody else to the story. The most meaningful aspect of this gig is the stories that have had some kind of impact, the ones that have led total strangers to help each other.

We're in an age where a newspaper lays off hundreds of people because it made $1 million less in quarter 3 than quarter 2. Where is that revenue? Try looking in the CEO's pocket. That's not what I'm here for.


I will defend journalism until I die. But I'm not writing for your bottom line, and I'm not writing to make sure your books balance. It's not that people are too busy and too distracted to read the paper. It's not that times are tough and people would rather buy things they need than purchase a subscription; it's that they no longer believe in what you stand for.

Reason No. 8,667 Why My BF is Great

Me: For my 25th birthday I'm cutting my hair. It's gonna look just like yours.

Him: I don't care. I don't have "Long Hair Syndrome."

Me: :D !

S.O.S.

A story in the local business journal caught my eye:

UR receives $5 million to support business major


The University of Rochester said Monday it has received a $5 million gift to support its new undergraduate business major. The gift was given by Barry Florescue, an alumnus and member of UR's board of trustees.

There you have it, people. I was horrified to hear of recent budget cuts at my alma mater. "We have to do something!" the outraged alums all cried. Yeah, we have to Save Our Selves.

The first part is getting a job (or creating a job) that will generate $5 mil in disposable income...But then again, if 1,000 alums all gave $50, we'd be on our way.
Homework for Self: One day I'm going to put in the research to see if any HBCUs have alumni that give on a comparabe level of those at Traditionally White Institutions. Considering that people like Oprah, Spike Lee, Bill Cosby, Oscar-nominated actress Taraji P. Henson and the founders of Rainforest Films all went to black schools, I would hope so. However, I'm also fully aware that a handful of affluent standouts can't be asked to carry the weight alone.

It's Hard Being a Man

I tend not to watch Pastor TD Jakes because his lisp is off-putting (yes, I've said it before: he sounds like Winnie the Pooh.) But on Father's Day I turned on TBN and though he was preaching about men, he said things women really need to hear.

To start off he shared a secret that women will never know because we are, well, women.
"It is hard being a man," he said. I think, ladies, that we should keep this in mind. Absolutely, it's difficult to be a woman as well, but in a country where most black children are born to single mothers, we should understand how much harder that makes it on a young boy who can't learn how to be a man from mommy. (And really, girls, I look at it like this: if I didn't have a father, who from my childhood would I have had to look up to as a good male role model? Not too many solid choices, and you likely can say the same...)

Jakes also said men have fewer role models to look up to for help navigating life. A mentor is so crucial because you need someone to see your potential and help nurture it. He said many men are just kids because no one looked them in the eye and said, "I see the king in you." External recognition of who you can become keeps you from straying toward vices that can stop you from achieving it.

So with that said, I'm not among the women out here who say there are no good men left. I know quite a few, and I'm proud of you - and whoever raised you! Life is hard for everyone, but we can't expect you to just shoulder it all and our problems too without acknowledging how much work that takes. Keep pushin', men!

I Always Want You When I'm...

There's an inexplicable phenomenon that occurs when you're in an altered state. I studied this in psyschology once, "mood-dependent memory," I think. Simply put, let's say you were high when you studied for a test. You should be high when you take it in order to recall the information.

But sometimes the mind does this without you even trying. You know what I mean,  how your not-right mind just associates itself with a certain person? No matter how out of it you are, there's that one number you call first when you drunk dial. Like your memory only conjures up this person when in an altered state.

I thought about it when listening to this song by new artist The Weeknd. The chorus?  "I always want you when I'm comin' down."

Comin' down off what? Oh, you don't need to ask...

"The Media" Hates Black Women

(I swear I only turned on VH1 Sunday so I wouldn't be left out of the Twitter convo!) It was Black Girl Night on the channel, apparently, with the season three premiere of "Basketball Wives," as well as the made-for-TV movie "Single Ladies" with LisaRaye and Stacey Dash.

Not surprisingly, the first BBW episode went like this: "Bitch, fuck you bitch! I hate that bitch! Ima sue yo ass, bitch!" with promises of actual fights next week.

"Single Ladies" featured LisaRaye as an old video vixen with expensive taste who also happened to be a klepto, and Stacey Dash as a wishy-washy woman dumped by a man who said he was never in love with her, only to let him hit and have a pregnancy scare, while also smashing a young white boy in, "I don't usually do this fashion."

Before we cry about how the media is at it again, making us look like desperate, catty golddiggers, we should consider for a moment that these women volunteered to be videotaped behaving this way. And they collected a check for it. Same goes for the girls on "Flavor of Love," "Maury Povich," etc.

The light bulb went on for me was when I watched Nelly on "Behind the Music," discussing the infamous "Tip Drill" video.  He ran out of money, he said, and all he had left was a credit card. In his words, the girl actually suggested that he swipe it down her butt cheeks! He couldn't understand why the ladies of Spelman protested his bone marrow drive, claiming he objectified women, when the scandalous swipe wasn't even his idea!

Is he deferring all blame? Absolutely. But if this is true, it means one thing: we can't blame anybody but ourselves for the way "we" look on these shows. I can be as classy as I want to be; it's easy to find a girl who will do the slutty things I won't - for money, for attention, for a chance to be arm candy, for whatever.


You look at the Amber Rose's of the world, and figure, why not? Not only is she doing legit modeling and traveling the world with famous boyfriends, she holds the black blogs captive. She has actual fans. She has girls everywhere even emulating her, getting crayola-hued buzzcuts.

So, sorry ladies, those of us who want to do it the Oprah way and get that billion through intellect and business acumen. Why not take the naked route or the reality short cut? Why not be a mean girl and throw your sistas under the bus? Look where it got Evelyn: a ring from Ochocinco and a line of T-shirts. #winning. Right???

Fare Thee Well

As I leave the retirement celebration of a colleague I only worked with for a year, I am reminded of the saying that your life might be the only Bible some people read.

This guy, I'll call him, M.D. - I just could tell he believed in God by the way he carried himself. A newsroom is hard to describe, but perhaps it's telling that he stood out to me because he always spoke, always addressed me by name and always smiled when we passed each other. If I ever stopped by his office with a question, he'd stop what he was doing to try to help me find a solution. (Trust me, that is rare.) His consistent warmth meant a lot to me as I learned to navigate this place.

After my "internship period," he sat down with me and we put together something like a guide for new hires. His concern that newbies be treated a certain way - and his genuine disappointment in the minor gaps in my process - spoke volumes.

It's no surprise to me, then, that he's going on to work for the Catholic diocese. He offered us these words to remember him by:

"If you hear an inner voice, listen to it; it just might change your life.
Continue to be people of truth.
And be people of hope; the world needs that so much right now."

I hope I will never neglect to do just that. I'm encouraged to practice walking a similar walk, one that speaks for me and exudes the grace and light of the Son.

Phony or Professional?

I always get thoughts like this - then immediately go, 'I shouldn't say that!' But oh well, here it is:

White people are professionals at being fake. They really might not be able to stand you, but they'll chitchat on the elevator and smile just the same. They'll introduce you to other people by saying, "You should meet Keisha! We just don't know how the department would run without her," knowing full well they wouldn't care if you fell off a bridge.
They'll even lie to your face if you confront them.

YOU: "Jen, I heard you told Bill I wasn't doing my part on the team and even the interns were more useful than me."
JEN: "Keisha, no! Who told you that? I have no idea how you heard something like that! That's ridiculous. You're doing a phenomenol job! Everybody says so. You know what we should do lunch when things calm down a bit around here..."

Black people, however, are transparent when they don't like you. They make working together very difficult because they treat you cold, roll eyes, suck teeth and make sure to let other people know they ain't feelin you either.

Just look at Star Jones and Nene on "Celebrity Apprentice," for example. These ladies were on the same team, playing for charity for pete's sake, and had disruptive blowups at the drop of a dime. Meanwhile, Hope and Marlee kept it on MUTE and saved their ill feelings for the confessionals.

We use the phrase, "I don't like being fake" to justify not being nicey-nicey to people we don't care for. But I heard this phrase once as well: "What other people think about you is none of your business."  It takes a lot of effort to be cordial to your least-favorite  coworker for 40 hours a week, but are you mature enough to do your job and not give the air that anything is different from the first day you met, when you didn't know adam from eve?


Do you need to let the girl next to you know you hate her, or is that even relevant when all you have to do is get the task done, then clock out and keep it movin?

So I want to know what you think: Is it phony or professional to put on a facade in the workplace?

Star Jones

At one point on this season of "Celebrity Apprentice," Star Jones got all upset because Meatloaf used a term like "sweetie" or "baby" while they were arguing. She said it was patronizing and unprofessional.

At the time, I thought she was bent out of shape unnecessarily. Now, I feel her.


What changed?

Well, I have a supervisor who likes to send snippy emails and sign them with smiley faces. WHO DOES THIS? You know what I mean, messages like:

"I hope to see you in the office tomorrow:)" and "I need a story for tomorrow ASAP :)"

I'm sure you've seen it before too - sometimes they swap out the smiley face for "Thanks," like putting thanks after a command negates the asshole-ishness of the preceding statement:

"Do me a favor and make sure your hours never again become an issue at 12 p.m. on a Monday. Thanks."

I finally sent him a note that said, "May i ask what's up with all the smiley faces."

Cuz let's be honest; he wouldn't send an email to a male employee with a smiley face signature. This, to me, communicates that you are being unprofessional and condescending, along with insulting my intelligence. I'm a woman, not a baby. Let's go further: I'm a colleague, gender removed.

Clearly, you know you're saying something out the way and need to include some type of gesture to make yourself feel better about it. If you receive absolution from an emoticon, that's fine. I didn't grant it to you, however.

i HAD to Share This.

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
 ~Winston Churchill


TooDamnTrue.

Donald Trump Aint New to This

"This" being racism, that is. Some people are calling it "coded racism." I say, no, not so much. Mom and I were talking today, and we were reminded of an incident that blew our minds wayyy back on "The Apprentice" Season 4 when Randall Pinkett won. Randall is the only black person to win "The Apprentice," and believe me, it was a victory that was painful for Trump to award.

In the final episode, in the boardroom, ON LIVE TELEVISION, he went so far as to ask Randall if he should hire the second runner up (Rebecca Jarvis) as well. This was after she had clearly lost and was badly beaten by Randal in a fund raising task where the numbers usually speak for themselves. NOW WHEN HAS HE EVER OPENED HIS MOUTH TO EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING?

That's like it coming down to the final rose ceremony on The Bachelor and Brad getting on one knee, proposing to one chick, then saying, "Don't you think I should propose to her too?"

Everyone would agree that this would be ludicrous, but in Randall's case, he answered, "Mr. Trump this show is the Apprentice, not the Apprenti," to which Mr. Trump was shocked, like he couldn't believe this black man wouldn't share his hard-earned victory with someone else! He then said something to the effect of, he would never forget that Randall said that. While he didn't get to Randall to consent to discredit his own win, he did vilify the man in the process. Websites the next day were calling Randall a "jerk" and many other names that were befuddling to me, given the circumstances. I would have been furious at Trump for cheapening my big moment in that way, but Randall handled it with class.

However, correct me if I'm wrong on this - but I doubt I am - Randall has gone on to write books and do speaking engagements around the country, but not once have I heard him talk about actually working for "Mr. Trump," which I thought was the prize for winning the show...

Jennifer Lopez

Y'all might not agree with me on this, but that Jennifer Lopez is a user.

She used Diddy, right when he was starting Sean John, then dumped him and launched her clothing line and perfumes. (not to mention I guess she wanted some street cred to market that awful "J.Lo" moniker.)

Now, she's on "American Idol," and after being ducked off for years, has ALL kinda endorsements and commercials. But most important, she and husband Marc Anthony are launching a Latin singing competition show.

You can argue that she's a smart business woman if you want. Maybe. But it looks like she leaches onto situations for knowledge right when she's looking to make her own version of it.

(With that said, the show is still a great idea, as the Hispanic audience is where the money's at right now.)

Do What You Love

Sorry to tell you, YOU didn't make this phrase up. Self-hep gurus didn't create this idea. It's ripped straight from the handbook for daily living, the instruction maunal, the bread of life - The Holy Bible.

Ecclesiastes 2:24 ¶ There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labor. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.


Ecclesiastes 3:22 ¶ Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

Simply put, "Do what you love." Enjoy your work; there's nothing better than that! Enjoy life and the fruits of your labor; be happy.

But a lot of people feel stuck. Some of us feel our passions are too illogical, too lofty, too unachievable to actually leave our "stable" gigs in search of the satisfying. What if we never reach those goals? What if they take years and years....how will the bills get paid in the meantime? What will people think if you quit that "good" job (in pursuit of that great one?) How do I explain to the interviewier that I've never worked for someone else for more than a year?

Hey, I understand. I feel you. I'm speaking for both of us. But a friend told me the other day, "God wouldn't put a vision in you that you weren't supposed to accomplish."

Mom told me if you don't work you don't eat. God tells me I should enjoy that work, whatever it is.

Motivation

An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and an object at rest tends to stay at rest until an outside force acts upon it.

That's true of things...but what about people? Sometimes we hit the ground running, then just lose steam for no apparent reason at all.

Internal motivation is hard to regain once it's fizzled. You can talk to people, seek advice, receive counsel as to why you should care about a certain thing, person or task. But once the thrill is gone...it's just gone.

Or maybe it's just me.

Nothing to be Scared of, Here

Last week I decided I was an "advocate for social justice." Anyone who takes on such a title should be willing to admit that she is hypersenstive (if being completely honest with herself), or at the very least is someone who looks at everything with a discerning eye.

Either way, I had an experience Monday night that confirmed I'm not crazy.

Since I've been in this city, more often than not I've been the only black person in the room. Many of the interactions that ensued felt forced and awkward. Tuesday was different. The bf and I went to an Irish pub with his coworkers, and had a blast. Yes, we can suggest a number of reasons why people in this setting might be friendly and laidback (I also wouldn't rule out a possibility that I've internalized a sense of inferiority that feels magnified in these settings.) -- but I just said, I've been in similar situations before and had not 1/18th of the fun I had that night.

My point is, there is a palpable difference when you interact when someone who doesn't see you through any other lens than as a fellow human being. Not as a black person, a young person, a rich person, a woman - just a person.

If this happened every day, it wouldn't be noteworthy. But it doesn't. (Think about it, why else are people surprised when they meet a celebrity who's "down to Earth?")

We create social labels that proscribe that one person be treated differently than another, due to "stature," "gender," "class," "age," "accomplishments" or whatever. These lead to a faulty, inflated sense of self-importance that could be easily deflated (and become obsolete) by simply treating everyone with respect and bearing in mind that we all "put our pants on one leg at a time."

Tips for Career Reinvention

via ESSENCE Magazine. This quote is from an article called The Career Hunt, which offered job search advice for black women.

And be willing to move beyond your comfort zone and your skill set, jump to a new company, or advance to a new managerial position. Finally, remember that you must fit in wherever you land.

That last line was the one that grabbed me. It was certainly a good article, but the "fit in" term was a little vague for me. Fit in how, exactly? I'm sure they don't mean my skill set, because they usually tell me to be better than everyone else so I stand out.

So I'm assuming this means fit in through....appearance and behavior? Tell you what, ESSENCE, I'm tired of jobs where I have to "fit in wherever I land." I'm just being honest. Some women, however, might disagree. You do what you have to do to get the job, I've heard.

So what do you think?

Now Faith is the Substance of Things Hoped For

(Wrote this for work; thought I'd share.)

I’m sure everyone has an uncle like mine in their family. You know, the one uncle, usually with a beer in hand, who’s the loudest person in the room? He doesn’t try to be funny, it’s just that all his stories happen to be hilarious.


When I was leaving Detroit to head to Rochester, I had a going away party. I wasn’t going to have it unless Uncle Brent was there. He manned the barbecue grill, and the comedy - as usual. I look at how laidback my dad is overall and can’t believe he grew up in the same house as nutty Uncle Brent.

But as I write this, Uncle Brent is in the hospital. Dad called last night asking that I include his little brother in my prayers. His kidneys are failing, his blood sugar is too low, and he’s lost sight in one of his eyes. For those who don’t know how serious it is, diabetes is a debilitating disease. And it runs in my family. The only memory I have of my great-grandmother is she had no legs due to the illness, and my grandfather had one of his legs amputated shortly before he died. My father has had diabetes since he was a senior in high school. I knew Uncle Brent was borderline diabetic, and as he’s gradually slimmed down into a smaller version of himself, I guess he fully crossed that border.

I’m reminded of a blog post I read recently by a young professional about making time in our busy lives for the people we love. My mother always said, “If you don’t work, you don’t eat.” (I hate when she’s right!) As grateful as I am to have a job, if I could be anywhere in the world right now, it’d be in that hospital room, near Uncle Brent’s bed. The beer can would be missing from his hand, but I know he’d still have me laughing.