I got what I asked for.
Unfortunately, I don't want it -- has that ever happened to you?
It actually hurts a lot. I'm not sure how to determine if this is the pain of regret, those necessary pangs they call "growing pains" or the pain of realizing that I made a significant mistake.
Cliches, like stereotypes, are rooted in truth. That "grass is greener thing"? Man, I tell ya.
I think there are a lot of people walking around carrying pain. This is why little things cause them to lash out. Don't flatter yourself -- it wasn't your singular act that pushed them over the edge; it was compounded with the sh*t they're already trying hard to ignore. Or handle. Or push through. Or heal from.
I have no idea of the best way to work through pain. Some say to just let time pass. Get busy, immerse yourself in other activities. Be productive, learn a new skill, get a hobby. Others say you have to face it head on and analyze what happened so you can learn from it. I've attempted both.
And here I am, at work, 1:55 a.m....on the verge of tears. They've been welling for three months.